🔗 Share this article

Encountering rejection, especially when it recurs often, is far from pleasant. Someone is declining your work, delivering a clear “Nope.” Being an author, I am familiar with setbacks. I commenced submitting story ideas five decades ago, right after college graduation. Since then, I have had multiple books declined, along with article pitches and countless essays. During the recent two decades, focusing on op-eds, the rejections have multiplied. Regularly, I receive a rejection every few days—totaling over 100 each year. In total, rejections in my profession run into thousands. Today, I could have a advanced degree in handling no’s.

However, is this a woe-is-me outburst? Far from it. Since, at last, at 73 years old, I have accepted being turned down.

How Have I Managed This?

Some context: At this point, almost everyone and others has rejected me. I haven’t kept score my acceptance statistics—doing so would be deeply dispiriting.

For example: not long ago, a newspaper editor rejected 20 articles in a row before accepting one. Back in 2016, over 50 publishing houses rejected my book idea before someone gave the green light. Later on, 25 literary agents rejected a project. One editor requested that I submit my work less often.

My Steps of Rejection

When I was younger, each denial were painful. It felt like a personal affront. It seemed like my work was being turned down, but me as a person.

As soon as a manuscript was rejected, I would begin the process of setback:

• Initially, disbelief. What went wrong? Why would they be overlook my skill?
• Next, denial. Certainly you’ve rejected the wrong person? This must be an mistake.
• Third, dismissal. What do they know? Who appointed you to decide on my work? You’re stupid and the magazine is subpar. I deny your no.
• Fourth, frustration at them, followed by self-blame. Why would I subject myself to this? Am I a martyr?
• Fifth, negotiating (often seasoned with false hope). How can I convince you to recognise me as a once-in-a-generation talent?
• Then, despair. I’m not talented. Additionally, I’ll never be any good.

So it went over many years.

Great Examples

Of course, I was in fine fellowship. Stories of creators whose books was at first declined are numerous. Herman Melville’s Moby-Dick. The creator of Frankenstein. James Joyce’s Dubliners. Vladimir Nabokov’s Lolita. The author of Catch-22. Almost every writer of repute was first rejected. Since they did overcome rejection, then perhaps I could, too. The basketball legend was dropped from his school team. Most US presidents over the past six decades had been defeated in elections. Sylvester Stallone says that his Rocky screenplay and desire to appear were turned down 1,500 times. “I take rejection as a wake-up call to rouse me and keep moving, rather than retreat,” he stated.

The Final Phase

Later, when I entered my 60s and 70s, I entered the final phase of rejection. Peace. Currently, I grasp the multiple factors why a publisher says no. To begin with, an reviewer may have recently run a like work, or have one in progress, or be thinking about something along the same lines for another contributor.

Alternatively, unfortunately, my pitch is of limited interest. Or the editor believes I don’t have the experience or standing to succeed. Perhaps is no longer in the market for the content I am submitting. Maybe was busy and scanned my submission too fast to recognize its abundant merits.

Go ahead call it an awakening. Any work can be rejected, and for any reason, and there is almost not much you can do about it. Some rationales for rejection are permanently out of your hands.

Your Responsibility

Some aspects are under your control. Honestly, my pitches and submissions may occasionally be poorly thought out. They may lack relevance and resonance, or the point I am struggling to articulate is insufficiently dramatised. Or I’m being too similar. Maybe a part about my grammar, notably dashes, was unacceptable.

The point is that, in spite of all my long career and rejection, I have succeeded in being widely published. I’ve published two books—the initial one when I was 51, another, a memoir, at 65—and more than 1,000 articles. My writings have featured in newspapers big and little, in local, national and global sources. My first op-ed was published decades ago—and I have now written to various outlets for 50 years.

However, no major hits, no signings at major stores, no spots on popular shows, no presentations, no book awards, no Pulitzers, no international recognition, and no Presidential Medal. But I can better accept rejection at this stage, because my, admittedly modest accomplishments have eased the jolts of my frequent denials. I can choose to be philosophical about it all today.

Educational Rejection

Denial can be instructive, but only if you heed what it’s trying to teach. If not, you will almost certainly just keep seeing denial incorrectly. What teachings have I learned?

{Here’s my advice|My recommendations|What